Apparently scientists have solved a problem that I don’t want solved. It will spoil my fun!
You see, I enjoy the challenge of working out how to get the last bit of ketchup out of a bottle. Salad dressing the same. Toothpaste is another splendid example. I love devising ways to get the last bit out of the tube.
Apparently normal people (clearly this doesn’t include me!) throw away approximately 15 per cent of the contents of every bottle of sauce, shampoo and toothpaste tube. The wicked waste is galling but the real tragedy is that so many people are missing out on all that squeezing, shaking and conducting delicate ‘caesarean’ operations.
But, scientists, bless them, backed to the tune of £12.8 million by enthusiastic venture capitalists, have invented a way of coating the insides of bottles and containers with an edible liquid lubricant that makes the inside surface slippery and prevents the contents from sticking. It’s clever stuff and the technology could save hundreds of millions of gallons of waste a year. It can even be used to keep pipes and tanks clear of sludge.
I’m sure cutting waste is a good thing but it will make a skill set I have developed, even perfected, over a lifetime of battling with bottles of tomato ketchup and the like, obsolete. I can only hope the fiendishly slippery lubricant will hit a snag. But if they can’t speed up the process of bringing the product to market no one can!
